oh CRAP!

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

Once I was at the apartment of this guy I really like, and he was using the restroom when I really had to use the bathroom too. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and I didn't know what to do, so I just dropped my pants and crapped right there on the floor, and I swear I was going to pick it up with a paper towel and throw it away, but right then he came out of the bathroom. I threw a pillow over my crap and hoped he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he knew something was up, so he picked up the pillow and there was my crap. He was like, "What the Hell is this", and I was so scared that I just made up this story. I said "Your dog just ran in here and pooped on the floor, but I didn't want the dog to be embarrassed so I covered it up." And he said "I don't have a dog, I think you're lying". And I'm thinking gee what tipped you off. So he knew it was me, and he picked up the poop and he threw it at me. So I said "I guess this means we aren't having dinner?" So I had to leave covered in my own poop. Oddly enough I did hear from him a few days later when he called to ask if I would pay the bill for the carpet cleaning he had to have. Then he asked out my twin sister, and told her the story. Now they are getting married, and I have to be in the wedding, and they sent me a diaper to wear under my dress. Oh my gosh, I wish I could die. -- A***

Welcom To The Family

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

 
I had just got married about 4 weeks earlier we had got back from our honeymoon to find that our house was not ready for us to get into yet (i finally bought a house so we could move out of our small apartment). So while we waited to move in we stayed at my wife's parents house. It was late one night and i begged P******* (my wife) to have sex. She kept saying no. She would say "what if my parents walked in?" "they would never look at me the same." I told her they wont but she still said no. I begged and pleaded for a very long time. After a half hour of my begging i heard a small, faint knock on the door.     

It was my wife's little sister who still lived with my in-laws. We opened the door and she said "daddy wants me to tell you that you should just give it to him, but tell him to take his hand off the intercom." The whole household had heard me begging my wife for sex. I couldn't look at them the next day and i am still reluctant to go over to their house.

Meet The Parents!

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

 

Ok, it was a casual friday night and my new boyfriend called me up and asked if we wanted to hang out..I was bored out my mind, so I jumped at the offer!

As i arrived at his, i was hoping we would be alone. I couldnt hear any trace of noise, so I guessed we were. He invited me in, gave me a kiss and then a sexy look which made me turned on and thinking that he was heading to something...He grabbed my hand and brought me downstairs covering my eyes and saying "i have a surprise for you, why dont you make yourself comfortable".

So i of course had a feeling what he meant. He then left the room to give me time and said he would be only five minutes.    


I began to take off my clothes knowing that i thought he wanted me to strip naked for him.Five minutes he called me to come out into the room next door to his room. I walked out all proud of my self and walked into the living room butt naked and saw three shocked faces looking upon my body. He didnt tell me the surprise was he wanted me to meet his parents!

What a horrible experience! From that day forward i kept my clothes on at all times unless I was ABSOLUTELY SURE we were alone!

Childish fear...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

Today, I found my old sewing machine I got when I was a kid. I never used it before, because when I was younger, I was afraid I might sew my fingers. Laughing at myself, I decided to sew up and old bag. I sewed my thumb.

Order OUT!

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

 

One night, a few co-workers at the computer data center where I work stayed late and we all started to get hungry. We decided to order in food by phone, but our boss thought that, since we work with computers, it would be more appropriate to order by Internet. After we contacted a fast food chain's web site and spent a long time registering as new customers for the delivery service, a message appeared on the screeen: "Thank you for your business. You will be able to order food in three days."

Wrong place wrong time

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

 

Darnell Madison, 37, was shot and killed in July in Homewood, Ala., when he burst into a motel room intending to rob the seven men whom he had seen with a wad of money. He was unaware they were armed police officers working on another case

Don't fall asleep signed into your facebook.

If your a cheater of course....

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.